| DETROIT,
Mich. – They were there for breakfast, and they were there to
cheer New York Jets running back Curtis Martin.
And it was Martin
who received the Athletes in Action Bart Starr Award that Saturday
morning in 2006, but the hundreds who gathered in fourth-floor
ballroom at the Marriott Renaissance in Detroit, Mich., on the
morning before Super Bowl XL were clearly touched by the featured
speaker.
That speaker was
Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy.
Two hours into the
breakfast, emcee Brent Jones introduced Dungy, who was welcomed with
a lengthy standing ovation. Dungy thanked the crowd, shared an
anecdote about Martin, then told the crowd he was going to speak for
about 15 minutes.
“It’s great to
be here,” Dungy told the crowd, then adding with a laugh, “I
just wish I wasn’t here in this capacity so many times of being
just that close to being in the game and just being an invited
speaker.
“My goal is to
have our team here one day and have a couple of tables with all of
our guys here. Because we have a special group of young men, a great
group of Christian guys. It’d be wonderful to have them here so
you could see their hearts and what they’re all about.
“It hasn’t
quite happened yet, but we’re still hoping one day it will.”
He told them he
was going to talk about lessons he had learned from his three sons.
The crowd fell silent. Then Dungy spoke.
And although this
was a breakfast – and although at many such events speakers speak
over the clinking of glasses and murmurs from semi-interested
listeners – for most of the 15 minutes the room was silent except
for Dungy’s voice.
He spoke of his
middle son, Eric, who he said shares his competitiveness and who is
focused on sports “to where it’s almost a problem.” He spoke
of his youngest son, Jordan, who has a rare congenital condition
which causes him not to feel pain.
“He feels
things, but he doesn’t get the sensation of pain,” Dungy said.
The lessons
learned from Jordan, Tony Dungy said, are many.
“That sounds
like it’s good at the beginning, but I promise you it’s not,”
Dungy said. “We’ve learned a lot about pain in the last five
years we’ve had Jordan. We’ve learned some hurts are really
necessary for kids. Pain is necessary for kids to find out the
difference between what’s good and what’s harmful.”
Jordan, Dungy
said, loves cookies.
“Cookies are
good,” Dungy said, “but in Jordan’s mind, if they’re good
out on the plate, they’re even better in the oven. He will go
right in the oven when my wife’s not looking, reach in, take the
rack out, take the pan out, burn his hands and eat the cookies and
burn his tongue and never feel it. He doesn’t know that’s bad
for him.”
Jordan, Dungy
said, “has no fear of anything, so we constantly have to watch
him.”
The lesson
learned, Dungy said, is simple.
“You get the
question all the time, ‘Why does the Lord allow pain in your life?
Why do bad things happen to good people? If God is a God of love,
why does he allow these hurtful things to happen?’’’ Dungy
said. “We’ve learned that a lot of times because of that pain,
that little temporary pain, you learn what’s harmful. You learn to
fear the right things.
“Pain sometimes
lets us know we have a condition that needs to be healed. Pain
inside sometimes lets us know that spiritually we’re not quite
right and we need to be healed and that God will send that healing
agent right to the spot.
“Sometimes, pain
is the only way that will turn us as kids back to the Father.”
Finally, he spoke
of James.
James Dungy, Tony
Dungy’s oldest son, died three days before Christmas. As he did
while delivering James’ eulogy in December, Dungy on Saturday
spoke of him eloquently and steadily, speaking of lessons learned
and of the positives taken from experience.
“It was tough,
and it was very, very painful, but as painful as it was, there were
some good things that came out of it,” Dungy said.
Dungy spoke at the
funeral of regretting not hugging James the last time he saw him, on
Thanksgiving of last year.
“I met a guy the
next day after the funeral,” Dungy said. “He said, ‘I was
there. I heard you talking. I took off work today. I called my son.
I told him I was taking him to the movies. We’re going to spend
some time and go to dinner.’ That was a real, real blessing to
me.”
Dungy said he has
gotten many letters since James’ death relaying similar messages.
“People heard
what I said and said, ‘Hey, you brought me a little closer to my
son,’ or, ‘You brought me a little closer to my
daughter,’’’ Dungy said. “That is a tremendous blessing.”
Dungy also said
some of James’ organs were donated through donors programs.
“We got a letter
back two weeks ago that two people had received his corneas, and now
they can see,’’ Dungy said. “That’s been a tremendous
blessing.”
Dungy also said he
received a letter from a girl from the family’s church in Tampa.
She had known James for many years, Dungy said. She went to the
funeral because she knew James.
“When I saw what
happened at funeral, and your family and the celebration and how it
was handled, that was the first time I realized there had to be a
God,” Dungy said the girl wrote. “I accepted Christ into my life
and my life’s been different since that day.”
Added Dungy,
“That was an awesome blessing, so all of those things kind of made
me realize what God’s love is all about.”
Dungy also said he
was asked often how he was able to return to the Colts so quickly
after James’ death. James died on December 22, and Dungy returned
to the team one week later. Dungy said the answer was simple.
“People asked
me, ‘How did you recover so quickly?”’’ Dungy said. “I’m
not totally recovered. I don’t know that I ever will be. It’s
still very, very painful, but I was able to come back because of
something one of my good Christian friends said to me after the
funeral.
“He said, ‘You
know James accepted Christ into his heart, so you know he’s in
heaven, right?’ I said, ‘Right, I know that.’ He said, ‘So,
with all you know about heaven, if you had the power to bring him
back now, would you?’ When I thought about it, I said, ‘No, I
wouldn’t. I would not want him back with what I know about
heaven.’
“That’s what
helped me through the grieving process. Because of Christ’s spirit
in me, I had that confidence that James is there, at peace with the
Lord, and I have the peace of mind in the midst of something
that’s very, very painful.
“That’s my
prayer today, that everyone in this room would know the same
thing.” |
